You Know What Sailors Are

UK, 1954. Directed by Ken Annakin. Akim Tamiroff, Donald Sinden, Sarah Lawson, Bill Kerr, Naunton Wayne, Dora Bryan.

Scripted by Peter Rogers just a few years before he became the producer of the Carry On series of films, this satirical comedy feels a bit creaky nowadays, but is still mildly amusing in places. A reflection of the Cold War era, played mostly for laughs - Dr Strangelove it isn't. Cast as a naval officer, Donald Sinden seems here to be playing a comic version of the character he portrayed in the previous year's The Cruel Sea. Plenty of other British character actors pop up in familiar roles, but much of the humour is laboured by today's standards.

American Crime

USA, 2004. Directed by Dan Mintz. Annabella Sciorra, Cary Elwes, Kip Pardue, Rachael Leigh Cook, Cyia Batten.

This thriller starts well, grabbing the attention with an intriguing spin on a formulaic plot, but quickly finds itself weighted down by unbelievable characters and situations and a plot which is so full of holes and illogicalities it can't hope to ever resolve itself to the satisfaction of the viewer. The script is woefully underdeveloped and doesn't know where it's going. By far the most interesting thing in the film is the extraordinary performance by Cary Elwes as a TV anchorman, which is in turns over-the-top and wryly amusing.