Van Helsing

USA / Czech Republic, 2004. Directed by Stephen Sommers. Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kemp, Shuler Hensley.

This begins promisingly, with the familiar Universal Pictures globe logo dissolving into a firebrand held by one of the angry villagers, marching to storm Victor Frankenstein's castle in a high-resolution monochrome scene with more than a nod to Universal's original Frankenstein. The whole of the opening action sequence is gripping and done with some flair, but sadly things fall apart rapidly after that.

They've thrown everything in but the kitchen-sink here - Dracula, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein and his monster, even Mr Hyde - or is it Quasimodo? - pops up briefly in the form of Robbie Coltrane. And then of course there's Van Helsing himself.

I was part of that generation who grew up with Hammer's Peter Cushing as the good vampire slayer, so this hunky, leather-clad, testosterone-fuelled assassin was a bit of an assault on the senses, much like the film itself. Kate Beckinsale struts about sexily in tight leather as well, but listening to her extraordinary accent I would suggest she doesn't draw too much attention to her appearance in this movie on her CV. The CGI is relentless throughout and, while it's all very clever and breath-taking, I found it curiously alienating. None of it really made me care about the characters or what happens to them. Finally, the plot! Hammer Pictures could have made about 15 films out of all the different plot threads here. Whatever would dear old Peter Cushing have made of it all?