Valentine

USA, 2001. Directed by Jamie Blanks. Denise Richards, David Boreanaz, Marley Shelton, Jessica Capshaw.

Oh dear. I do try to enter into the spirit of a film when I start to watch it, even if it's not really my type of thing. But Valentine does try the patience, with completely implausible situations, characters and events. I found myself frequently getting distracted rather than glued to the screen. If you are going to tell an unlikely or even ridiculous story, you have to tell it really well, with a good sense of style and pace and a half-decent script. If the audience is given the chance to start pondering the illogicalities of what they're watching, you've blown it. And there's certainly enough illogicality here. As for the acting, well, I don't think anyone's going to win an Oscar for their performance. And the shock moments were hardly hair-raising.